How to get through “I miss you season”
As we enter the “I Miss You” season of 2019, I want to address the importance of self-compassion.
Yes, I know this is a RADICAL idea to some. So radical that you might stop reading right here, but bear with me for a second.
We all want an external solution to our loneliness, our sadness, and our mental health challenges. We think that when we have our plus one, our king or queen, our partner for life; that we can lean into that person and not have the self-work be so hard.
While external support is necessary and helpful for guidance, WE are the ones that have to do this work for ourselves.
WE have to become more resilient at tending to our emotions, caring for our souls, guiding our mental triggers, and being kinder to ourselves.
There has been a lot of uproar lately about the new Weight Watchers — Kurbo app, designed for children and adolescents 8-17 to promote weight-loss, calorie counting (via the “points system”) and a “healthier lifestyle.”
I absolutely want us to educate, inspire, and support children from a young age to live their healthiest lives. However, being a chubby child who dieted all my childhood and young adult life, and now being an eating disorder professional (psychotherapist), I think it’s important to do some education on the damage of this philosophy behind “weight-loss.” I’ve seen it first hand, and it’s been proven again and again, that childhood weight-loss efforts can lead to or often worsen disordered eating and body image issues!
There are more important things in life than to be skinny.
I'm not addressing those who are naturally in a thinner, more toned, or socially advertised body … AKA today’s skinny “ideal.”
I want to be clear, I think all bodies are beautiful and worthy of being celebrated!
I also realize that being in an “ideal” body can also come with it’s own preconceptions, struggles, judgments, and negative backlash.
Just DO IT
I am one of those people that needs to hear things SEVERAL times, before I am able to have awareness around a situation.
The Fear Factor
Doing the work isn't always fun. Yet it is necessary!
Don't let "not feeling like it" derail you or get too loud in your head.
There are a ton of things that I don't feel like doing, yet, I love results, so I do them anyways.
Some tips to help you take action and do the things you don't really want to do!
Fear at best is an emotion that is trying to keep us safe, however, more often than not, fear is a perception problem keeping us stuck. This is why some people say that FEAR is an acronym that stands for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” I have a revised and helpful version of an acronym below that will help you deconstruct and stand up to your fears!
Feel Your Feelings
Are you intimately connected and aware of your triggers? There is a great quote that says that "triggers are the guides."Most people assume that triggers are bad, however, they are opportunities to stay sharp and on top of your healing.When you are triggered, you have a choice. You can either react, respond, or numb out. REACTION is usually knee jerk. There is not much thought behind it, it is automatic, it is impulsive, and usually destructive. RESPONSES are more thoughtful, intentional, wise, learned behavior, and practiced. They take time to develop, and usually lead to long term happiness and success. NUMBING out is basically shutting down and not having a response at all. This can feel very helpless, hopeless, and put you into victim mode.
Love Your Body
I know that it's difficult to do, however, you MUST MUST MUST feel your feelings. ⠀
Trust me, I'm a professional #lol
But in all seriousness, your emotions are trying to communicate with you.⠀
As we move into the summer months, a very popular topic of conversation is body image and being comfortable in one’s skin. The summer months tend to expose a lot of skin, metaphorically and literally, bringing up a lot of vulnerability, self-consciousness, guilt, shame, comparison and more.
I’ve found that body image is a multi layered phenomenon and experience. It is complex, impacts many areas of our lives, and can affect both your mental and physical wellbeing.
In order to have a healthy body image, it is important to identify where you get most of your body image messages.
WE ALL WANT IT, BUT ARE WE WILLING TO WORK FOR IT?
There has been a lot of talk lately about change. New seasons, new phases of life, and stepping into new versions of ourselves. Yet change can be terrifying, uncomfortable and most of all unfamiliar. We love to stay comfortable and stagnant because it is EASIER than the alternative, even though change is what we are REALLY wanting. So how do we create change, if we are feeling scared, awkward, confused and helpless? Here are some tips to help you create change in your life.